Dream Post #2

[ischarming]

Warnings: Head canon stuff, questionable parenting from Valentine
Effects: None

Snow is falling out on the ground that a young boy with blond hair is playing in. He's laughing brightly and running around trying to catch the flakes. It's a beautiful sight to be sure. Anyone can see that just by looking at it. A closer look even reveals that this is a young Jace, golden eyes happy as he falls into a pile of the snow around him.

"Jonathan," a man's voice calls and the boy turns to a tall man with hair so blond it might as well be white. The smile on his face fades a bit. It's quite clear suddenly that he's not supposed to be out here playing.

"I don't believe that your reading is done for the day. So a certain son of mine shouldn't be out enjoying himself in the snow. But since you so intent on it, go stand by that tree."

Jace quickly nods then runs over, staring at his feet. But only for a moment. Then he's looking up at the man. "I am sorry, father. I just..."

"Your task will be to catch the snow I throw at you."

For the next fifteen minutes straight, the man throws balls of snow that splatter in the boy's hands, smashing into his face. It's not long before the little boy is crying and shivering from the cold. Yet he still tries to hold his hands to catch the snow. He clearly doesn't want to give up because there has to be a way. However, the next one hits him straight in the face and his head smacks the tree behind him. Letting out a yelp of pain and a little sob, he falls to his knees. Only then does the man walk up to him.

"There, there, Jonathan. This was just a lesson to show you that what can bring us pleasure can slip through our fingers and cause us pain. Never forget this lesson."

The little boy sobs and nods his head quickly to show that he's understood. "Y-y-y-yesss, f-f-f-father."

"Very good. Now go inside and get cleaned up before you go back to your reading. We don't want you to get our books wet." The man smiles as he brushes snow from Jace's hair then helps him up. It's like he's proud of the child as he watches him run back into the house...

---

Jace wakes up panting after the memory. He's distressed enough that he doesn't even notice the smell of peppermint in the air. Grabbing his hair, he stares off with wide eyes before he notices the Dreamberry on. With a snarl, he throws it against the wall.

Comments

[action]

[forged_anew]

[Zuko watches him for a moment--

And then, he's suddenly there, catching Jace's wrist to keep him from breaking his hand, with the way he's attacking the wall viciously.]

[action]

[ischarming.livejournal.com]

[Jace's hand hurts from the abuse but he already knows it's not broken. No, Zuko stopped that from happening.

Which means he takes a swing at him with his other fist.]

[action]

[forged_anew]

[He doesn't dodge, but he does try to catch that fist too, expression somber.]

[action]

[ischarming.livejournal.com]

[Jace growls as soon as both his hands are trapped, already kicking next since that's what he has left as an attack option. He's not even trying to be careful about his movements. If they hit then that's what matters.]

[action]

[forged_anew]

[Zuko grunts as he's kicked, but he's not letting go, trying to force Jace against the wall instead. Better Jace hitting him than shattering his knuckles on the wall.]

You're angry because you still want his approval. Is that it? Despite what he did to you--

[He's guessing, and probably superimposing, but that's what it seems like to him. And it hurts to watch, like it hurts to look at the left side of his face in the mirror.]

[action]

[ischarming.livejournal.com]

[Jace is bigger than Zuko but he's not paying attention to his balance. He's too angry and upset and confused to pay attention. It's so much easier to just attack, easier to let his back hit the wall.

But those words hit him right in the heart. Because they're so true. And he just wants to hit Zuko more.]

What does it matter? He's dead!

[action]

[forged_anew]

[He's not going to be Jace's punching bag. But Zuko doesn't fight back, either, only blocking and holding him down when he can. Every hit that strikes him elicits only minor sounds, barely even distracting him.]

If it didn't matter, you wouldn't be losing it right now.

[action]

[ischarming.livejournal.com]

How would you know, huh? Explain that!

[Really he's just trying to get Zuko to stop saying exactly what's wrong. Because no one ever seems to get it so why should this guy? He's just going to be like everyone else, right?]

[action]

[forged_anew]

[His eyes widen slightly, and Zuko suddenly shoves Jace away hard, into the wall]

Because you're not the only one who learned the hard way!

[action]

[ischarming.livejournal.com]

[He hits the wall with a grunt before staring at Zuko. That's...not the reaction he was expecting.]

What are you talking about?

[action]

[forged_anew]

[He turns away suddenly, fists clenched, trying very hard not to lose control and burn something]

You skipped a reading lesson. I spoke out of turn.

You got snow in your face.

I got fire.

[The last word is bitten out with such a bitter vehemence, he can feel his blood boiling, control on his chi already so tenuous. Zuko starts to walk away toward the opposite end of the room, careful at least to keep Jace out of immediate range in case he does snap.]

You think everybody else had it easy, Jace?

[action]

[ischarming.livejournal.com]

[And that's...definitely not what he was expecting to hear. It actually shocks him a bit out of his rage so that he just stares at Zuko. No one has ever actually understood the things with Valentine. Honestly, he doubts even Clary could.

But that's...]

Yours too...

[action]

[forged_anew]

I was thirteen. Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, and finally allowed into the council room.

[Deep breaths, still facing away from Jace.]

My father and his generals were going to sacrifice an entire division of soldiers for a diversion. The penalty for speaking up for my people's lives was banishment.

And a nice souvenir on my face.

[action]

[ischarming.livejournal.com]

[That...sounds like something Valentine would do. Possibly not the banishment but close enough. So he guesses he just wants to tell Zuko that he gets it. Only...he doesn't know how.

So he shares.]

He gave me a bird once so I could train it to hunt. I spent hours training it and caring for it. I loved it and it was loyal to me. When I had it trained, I brought it to him. He snapped its neck and told me that I was to train it to be obedient and what I did was train it to love. That to love is to destroy.

[action]

[forged_anew]

[Zuko lets out a shaky breath]

I don't think my father's ever really loved anything. Except power, probably.

But I thought--

I still wanted--

[The very thing he's certain now Ozai had never given anyone, not even Azula despite all his fondness for her. A man like that wasn't capable. It was all in selfishness; all people were pawns, even his own family. Zuko knows that now, very well-- but it still hurts.

Sometimes, he still wishes Aang had killed him. But Aang could never do that. And, in the end, neither could Zuko.

He interrupts himself with a wordless, raw cry, and it's a good thing he had the sense to turn away from Jace because the wall in front of him is now adorned with a good-sized, blackened circle of burnt wood.]

[action]

[ischarming.livejournal.com]

[His first thought when he sees the burnt wood is really quite simple and probably not overly appropriate for the situation.

"I'm going to get blamed for that."

And then he moves on to what Zuko just said. Never loved anything except power. He doesn't like how close that hits to home. Still, he manages to push away from the wall he's against to go over to where Zuko is, studying the wood.]

And you've been keeping the fire away because...what? You think I can't handle it?

[Coping by going for a new topic? You got it.]

[action]

[forged_anew]

[Deep breaths, Zuko, deep breaths. He settles down slowly, focusing on his chi and on clearing away the anger and bitterness from his mind. He'd never been stellar at meditation, but he does manage to calm down enough, letting go of the fire still at his fingertips.

Another deep breath, and he turns to face Jace again at last with a half-hearted sound that's probably supposed to be an attempt at a laugh. He's completely for going along with this new topic.]

It just hasn't come up before, I guess. I haven't been keeping it away.

[action]

[ischarming.livejournal.com]

Fine then. Let's see what you can do with it.

[Jace goes into a defensive stance and indicates that Zuko should come at him. Right now.]

[action]

[forged_anew]

[Dropping talking in favor of beating the shit out of each other? Sure. In a friendly way, of course!]

I'm not in the mood to hold back, you know.

[So Zuko punches the air-- which, of course, results in a good-sized fireball hurtling at Jace's chest.]

[action]

[ischarming.livejournal.com]

[Somehow Jace manages to flatten himself to the ground in a graceful manner, letting the fire fly over him. Smirking, he rolls back to his feet and rushes at Zuko, kicking out at his ankles.]

[action]

[forged_anew]

[And Zuko jumps away quickly, aiming more fire at Jace while he's still in the air.]

[action]

[ischarming.livejournal.com]

[That's more like it. He jumps out of the way, rolling into a crouched position.]

[action]

[forged_anew]

[Zuko lands several feet away from him, and suddenly there's a whip in his hand, made entirely from flames.]

[action]

[ischarming.livejournal.com]

You know, it really hurts my feelings that you've kept this from me for this long.

[action]

[forged_anew]

It's not exactly a secret. [He points out with a smirk, flicking the fire whip at Jace's ankles. He's not holding back, per se, but he is making sure to have very careful control.]